@HuajatollaChic: At least dogs look at you when you're talking with them as if to say, hell yeah I'd talk to you, but I'm a dog.
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@DowntimeDad: If you drop a peanut in a shag rug forget it, let it go.
@IRLPepperMD: *sees spider in the shower* Oh jeez I'm sorry lock the door next time buddy
@ei8htiesbaby: Chalant isn't even a word. Well played nonchalant. Well played.
@david8hughes: [describing criminal to sketch artist] No, he could speak more languages than that. He had racist shoulders. His front teeth were impatient.
@JasonLastname: Mad cow disease wears off and eventually you're just tired with a cow disease.
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