@BillMc7: Just saw a spider. It was sleeping. I crawled into its mouth.
@boom_goes_the: In biblical times, I would have given your dad so many goats for you.
@JohnCleese: Hotel Security just knocked on my door to deliver a package. He asked for indentification. I showed him my book,with my name and face on it
@murrman5: [during ultrasound]
wife: I really thought you were the father
me: how could you do this to me?
wife's grey and black lover: I told y'all
@AyeGimp: Stand in a crowd, put your finger to your ear secret agent style, say out loud "target is in site!", see who panics.
COMMENTS