@FilthyRichmond: At least he brought enough for everyone
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@BoogTweets: Me: You know that prank where you put dog poop in a bag and set the persons house on fire? Her: You mean set the bag on fire Me: [sirens]
@NurseMurderer: My favorite part of eating alone at this trendy restaurant was when the waitress asked if I had cats because I had cat hair, "all over."
@Elizasoul80: I can't believe I live in a world where our only defense against a blizzard is buying extra milk.
@novicefather: This guy just climbed through a thicket of waist-high shrubbery to avoid walking past me. That's the kind of anti-social I aspire to be.