@HomeProbably: At least my masseuse has my back.
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@T_Bonezzz: SURVIVAL TIP If a gummy bear is chasing you, curl up like a ball and pretend you're stoned
@theyearofelan: Captain’s Log. My girlfriend has been out of town for one day. The dogs are now in command. I have covered the floor in thin layers of prosciutto at their request. They’ve said I can stay here, for now. I am perched on the counter by the fridge in case they need more cured meats
@chrissyteigen: I really really really really clearly am not a PC type of gal but I'm a little weirded out at the oriental dressing option on my flight