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@HomeProbably: At least my masseuse has my back.
@SteveKoehler22: My Grandma's church was odd
in that they worshipped paintings.
Every week they would stand up
and sing "How Great Thou Art"
@ShoutingGoddess: Nobody can negotiate like a 4 year old told he has 2 minutes til bed.
@OneTrickTofani: "GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"
"Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"
"Oh rad bring it in"
@ladybroseph: *walks in on you sitting on the toilet* "Scooch over."
@Abby__Rose: I dated a guy who always kneeled and prayed before sex. I still don't know if he was scared of what I'd do or thankful. Either way, amen.