@HomeProbably: At least my masseuse has my back.
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@longwall26: "Hello, cops? A man in an apron attacked my hair with scissors!" "LOL sir, that was a barber." "He was black." "We're sending a battleship."
@MichaelGoffLA: "Engagement" can mean either planning to marry or initiating combat. Coincidence?
@ArfMeasures: [park] STRANGER: Your dog is unusual looking ME: Yeah, he's interbred DUCK: [waddles up] I'll tell you who else is into bread