@HeyZeus666: At my age, my biggest fantasy is to sleep through the night without having to pee every two hours.
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@onelongbender: Fun Fact: When the bartender asks if you want two or three fingers, he isn't always talking about the liquor.
@MarfSalvador: Wildebeest: 5 cheetahs on the horizon sir Wildebeest Sergeant: How many men do we have? Wildebeest: 4,000 Wildebeest Sergeant: RETREAT!
@angibangie: I missed my calling in advertising. "Chocolate diamonds, for when you want your expensive jewelry to look like actual shit."
@beefman138: Guy on plane : So, where are you going to? Me : I'm guessing it's the same place you're going.