@vineyille: [at my comedy central roast after every joke] That’s not true
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@BlairLoudly: One time I threw my cat at a spider so I could escape, but sure I'd love to hold your baby
@PeachyPixel8: Coming Soon Jason Statham is a reluctant thief with a heart of gold *cue explosion* PUNCH McEXPLODEY CAR MAN *fade to black*
@NYC_Blonde: There should be an option on travel websites that let's you search for "flights that are least likely to have noisy children".