@briangaar: At my funeral, feed me into a woodchipper and point it at the mourners
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@OutOfLeftField_: Suddenly had the urge to lay on the floor and do stomach crunches. Then I found some bubble wrap and that urge went away.
@ninetek: If you're having luftballon problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 luftballons and whatever whatever I don't speak German
@brendohare: Hello. I'm the guy who sleepeats thousands of spiders every year and screws up the average for everyone. Sorry for scaring you.
@Smug_Lemur: The best part about talking to a narcissist is how there isn't any pressure to add to the conversation.