@Breadery: At my funeral I want the picture of me next to the coffin to have eyeholes cut out with someone behind it glaring at people coming in.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iinkedZombie: The horn quit working in my truck, so I'm hanging out of the window revving this chainsaw at pedestrians.
@WetzelGeek: The washing machine broke so I had to wash my undies in the river. As a bonus, 3 catfish floated to the top afterwards, so dinner is served!
@CoopSoSarc: I was feeling great about myself when I saw my number on the womens bathroom wall 'for a good time'. Then I recognized my hand writing.
@UpDocInc: I have twin brothers named Juan and Amal. I only carry a picture of one of them because if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.