@IamEnidColeslaw: at my high school reunion everyone kept asking where my date was so I finally told them my dog ate him. no one laughed
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@treydayway: I get accused of hating white people many times on here. That's not true, some of my favorite shirts are white.
@LosLos__: •speed dating• I'm looking for a girl with fire in her eyes. Her: Hi. My name is Carrie.
@Ratchet7Don: The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries until I unpacked them all and said, "That's how I want you to do it."
@pleatedjeans: Halloween is great bc kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal