@IamEnidColeslaw: at my high school reunion everyone kept asking where my date was so I finally told them my dog ate him. no one laughed
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@MensHumor: I would like to thank Tetris for providing me w/ the skills to jam as many dishes as possible in my dishwasher.
@ElizaBayne: "Move miss, please get out of the way. Please get out of the way, miss. Please get out of the way."- Ludacris's cousin, Kurteous
@Barack_and_Joe: Obama: any good ideas in how to defeat isis? *Biden raises hand* Obama: besides assembling the Avengers? *Biden lowers hand*