@wolfpupy: at the grampys, about to anounce who won the grampy award. open envelope. its grandpa!!! you did it congratulations
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@LizHackett: A child is being pushed around in a pink toy convertible while eating a chocolate frosted donut, and I want to ask her how she got this job.
@uberpaki: My fellow Canadians, Complain about the heat just *once* and it will get taken away from us. Don't be the reason we can't have nice things
@juneohara65: I just got a text from someone I don't know. They say they're sick and vomitting. Should I tell them that vomitting only has one T?
@IamEveryDayPpl: My turn ons are naps, cereal, and seeing women that are prettier than me trip over cracks in the sidewalk...