@Hadzilla: At the last supper Jesus was probably like it would be way more comfortable for everyone if some of you sat on the other side of the table
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@Ristolable: [pitch meeting] Okay so it's a ton of dogs. Dalmatians. 100 of 'em. I call it "100 Dalmatians." [idea man pipes in] Let's think bigger
@DuaneABarrett: Just overheard someone say, "I wish I had a Kindle that never ran out of batteries." You know. Like a book.
@Bobinhiding: Sext I just received from my wife- "Wake up! You're snoring so loud on the couch, you may as well come to bed."