@Hadzilla: At the last supper Jesus was probably like it would be way more comfortable for everyone if some of you sat on the other side of the table
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@dankashane20: Why would you chase a waterfall? They don't move to different spots you know. It's pretty much just right there.
@Freudstombstone: It hurts my feelings when people call me a failure. I'd rather people think of me as successfully challenged.
@UncleDuke1969: ALERT At 9:20am, I lost an apostrophe. Last seen in the word "Let's". If you see it, please send it home. Its tweet misses it.
@StevieKnip: Me: I hit the ejector seat and sent her through the roof by accident Cop: you're under arrest. I'm taking you to jail Me: let's take my car