@ElgatoEsmio: At the state fair I realized none of my troubles matter when you dip them in batter
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@simoncholland: You should be able to make your GPS call you a code name. "Bobcat, in 3.1 miles turn left" "Recalculating, Bobcat, you're going rogue."
@TheCiscoKidder: Fight Club, but instead of blowing up all the financial institutions, they reset all twitter follower counts back to zero.
@ericsshadow: ME: these gummy bears are delicious WIFE: those are daily vitamins ME: *holding the couch over my head with one arm* I can't find the remote