@see_more13: At the store & asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around & looked them in the eyes and said, "Make it 52"
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@slimmy_shady: 1) "Obamas spying on you."2) "Eh. Cost of being free!"1) "Obama wants to give you healthcare."2) "WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?"
@MeetingBoy: I've counted 8 people so far whose New Years resolutions include "loose weight". Can I add spelling to your list too?
@PaperWash: Just saw one of those giant centipedes run though my living room so now I'm gunna sleep with a flamethrower and a full metal jacket.
@hotdogsladies: Conjecture: At some point in 2013, our neighbors will get so high that they accidentally sell their own weed. For weed money. To buy weed.