@see_more13: At the store & asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around & looked them in the eyes and said, "Make it 52"
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@Audenary: *notices ham sandwich while searching inside myself* 'wait, if that's here' *son opens lunchbox to find debilitating existential malaise*
@Parkerlawyer: 7 brought me breakfast in bed, which in theory was super sweet, except in reality it was a poptart at 4am.