@juliussharpe: At the very highest level of karate, they give you pants that fit so you no longer need a belt.
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@maebemarbles: Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
@jwoodham: Most people don't know this, but the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they lost their damn minds.
@freypalm: Her: You’re up to a pack a day now—you have to cut back. Me: [petting the alpha male of the wolf pack I just adopted] I can quit anytime.
@CornOnTheGoblin: We have to operate now if the cancer spreads anymore you won't be able to tell the difference between people & food "Are you nuts?" Dear God