@noog: At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I'll never know.
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@Sarcasticsapien: When someone says "excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable", how long are they usually gone? Two days seems like a long time.
@iwearaonesie: wife *comes downstairs* How long has my mom been here? me: About an hour wife: me: wife *lets her in*