@mattgallo123: At this point I feel like MTV is just trying to scare old people.
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@TheCatWhisprer: [1 of 4 car accidents caused by texting & driving] PEOPLE: won't be me [1 in 292 million chance of winning powerball] PEOPLE: you never know
@Douchekevin: This hangover feels like the kids lunches are going to be a brown paper bag with a handful of change, and a note that says 'buy something'.
@mrtruthandsoul: No, I don't need a bag; I'm gonna juggle this 12 pack, this bag of ice and this whole roasted chicken on my unicycle while whistling Dixie.