@13spencer: At this point, I think the people on "The Walking Dead" are trying to bore the zombies into not biting them.
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@SteveSuckington: [2nd time at girls house] "where's your dog?" Oh he isn't mine. I was dog sitting [makes text alert sound w mouth] "Its work. I gotta go"
@aveuaskew: You said you couldn't live without me, so it's very inconsiderate of you not to be dead.
@badbanana: Immortality would suck. I don't want to spend the next 800 years trying to explain Gangnam Style to my great-grandfather.