@13spencer: At this point, I think the people on "The Walking Dead" are trying to bore the zombies into not biting them.
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@jlock17: Subway only exists because we're all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here's $8."
@DaddyJew: [on the phone with an ex while violently twisting and stabbing a voodoo doll] Are you sure you're ok?
@ArfMeasures: ME: Jesus Christ, this is the slowest train I've ever travelled on BRIDE: Someone please get this prick off my dress