@briangaar: At this point, I'm pretty sure the main reason Donald Trump ran for president was to get more Twitter followers
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@mikeleffingwell: When people argue about sports and one says "Care to make it interesting" I assume they're going to start talking about something else.
@UncleDuke1969: He rose from mild mannered Social Studies teacher... To vicious kingpin of a criminal cupcake empire. Coming soon to AMC: "BAKING BRAD"
@Midgetspar: Remember: You can kill someone and wear their skin as a suit, but it's not identity theft until you use their debit card. Be smart about it.
@bees_wingz: Just removed my bra, whipped it around my head, and tried to toss it away, but a hook got caught in my hair. Available for bachelor parties.