@briangaar: At this point, I'm pretty sure the main reason Donald Trump ran for president was to get more Twitter followers
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@Miniwheats2012: Me: Wake up son! Son: Just 30 more minutes please Me: I'm borrowing your phone Son jumps of the bed: I'm awake!
@GrowlyGrego: [at Eminem show] Cuz I am / whatever you say I am / [from crowd] "Ur a pony! Ur a tablecloth!" The shapeshifting continues for hours.
@onion_an: Me: What music you into? Date: I love hip hop Me: Yeah me too [thinking of something to say to impress her] Me: Soup Dogg is my cousin