@Vodkantots: At this point in my life, my biological clock isn't so much ticking as it is knitting.
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@Brianhopecomedy: "Daddy, how do you spell Budweiser?" "Uhhh....why?" "I'm drawing a picture of you for school." "Cool! It's spelled G-A-T-O-R-A-D-E."
@CrazyClarine: After Paris my Airbnb host tried to say I stained her sheets & headboard w/ hair dye, but the gag is I don't wear hair to bed.
@MrFornicator: People who say gays are destroying the fabric of society have obviously never seen what a gay man can do with fabric.
@TheTweetOfGod: Your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. It takes an average of 70-80 years.