@Vodkantots: At this point in my life, my biological clock isn't so much ticking as it is knitting.
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@cwhudson: SURGEON: hold on, i just need to YouTube this part of the procedure PHONE: *unskippable ad plays* NURSE: he's dyin SURGEON: ah crap, hold on
@mellimelle: Packing for a trip, Husband says I don't need to overpack. It is so cute how he thinks I'm coming back.
@enigmaticmess: Him: Have you ever been so drunk that you... Me: Yes Him: But I didn't finish... Me: The answer is yes