@TheAngryMailGuy: At this point in my life, the little angel on my shoulder just says "Oh this is gonna be good..." and starts munching popcorn.
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@LizHackett: Wrap toilet paper around you like a wedding dress and slowly get naked as you tear pieces off to blow your nose all day.
@Spaziotwat: [Creation] God:*creates single-cell life form* "Wahoo!" *cell divides* God:"What the-" *cells divide again* God:"Oh shi-"
@kristygee: I show extra confidence at a job interview by giving a firm handshake before and after every question.