@BookishBunny: At this point most of the hugs I'm involved in are just my kids using me as a napkin.
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@NicestHippo: [college ad] High schoolers: You've sat in a chair for 4 years. How would you like to do that again, but this time at enormous cost to you?
@Shock_Monster: Her: I saw this Yoda pen & I thought of you. Me: WHY? YOU THINK I'M 8 OR SOMETHING? Her: No, sorry... Me: Hey, hey, hey! Leave the pen.
@bggas400: She's got the face of an angel, a heart of gold, & a body that won't quit. Who cares that she curses like a trucker and drinks like a fish.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: My white cat has been beating up my black cat a lot lately so I guess he's been reading the news and knows he won't get punished for it.