@slimmy_shady: At Walmart checkout other day:Cashier: "you have a dog?" Scanning dog food.Hubz: No, our kid needs the protein.
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@LABeachmom: The whole "limiting myself to one glass of wine a day" thing is going really great. I'm like 5 years ahead of schedule.
@KeetPotato: cop: i have to give you a ticket me: [undoes button] how bout now? cop: sir me: [undoes another] how bout now? cop: sir pls get off my shirt
@Home_Halfway: Charles Barkley sounds like a made-up name a dog would think of to get into a fancy country club.