@the_blacklisted: At what age do you tell your kids that the UN isn't real
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@GreenishDuck: Was gonna climb over some guy's arm but then I noticed he had a barbed wire tattoo on it.
@just1fool: Every time you reach under the couch for something a giant spider must choose whether or not to give up its secure location.
@000___000: "daddy why did the moon turn red?" "because god is flooding it with the blood of all the children who ask too many questions sweetie"
@MandiAtRandom: I feel like something is missing from my life and I don't know if it's a person, a puppy, or just a burrito.