@knot_eye: [at work]
CW: Hey, I found your Twi...
Me: *jumps out window*
@SuperRandomish: I imagine the best part about driving a smart car is that when there's no parking spots you can just put it in your backpack.
@MichaelTrying: “His house was clearly on fire but he thought he had time to hit the snooze button just once.”
@AimeeHelene1: *hears someone breaking in*
*grabs gun and walks down hallway*
*realizes I grabbed Nintendo gun from Duck Hunt*
@TheAlexP: Rapunzel is my favorite story about a girl who would do anything to have her hair pulled.
@MUMSIEesq: 5YO: did you go to camp as a kid?
GRANDMA: we were very lucky, we escaped France thru Great Britain
ME: she didn't go to camp