[at work]
“Mornin, Margaret.”
“Mornin. You’re late today.”
[looks at watch]
“Not as late as your dead husband though, am I?”
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wife: that’s not a thing at funerals
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me: iced latte please
barista: what type of milk?
me: spaghetti
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love printers. as all of technology evolves, they take a bold stand and say “no, not only am i not going to improve, i’m not going to even print” and that’s the type of product integrity i can get behind
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ME: You know what they say, “Never go to bed hungry.”
HER: Angry.
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the grave:
please input the SMS code we texted so we can make sure it’s you
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