@EricGoldie: Ate a vegetable about 5 hours ago...Still no abs.
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@dafloydsta: [job interview] "What would you say is your greatest strength? I'm pretty humble. Actually, I'm incredibly humble. Amaaaaazingly humble.
@vonTraphaus: Mario Bros. Plumbing ★☆☆☆☆ (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfri.... (Read More)
@WheelTod: If I'm guilty of anything it's only of loving too much, insider trading, public indecency, treason, arson, jaywalking, piracy & cannibalism.
@LeahBonnema: I can't take anymore of this 50 Shades of Grey promo. It's still your basic Cinderella story. Now she just has a ball gag.