@zachreinert03: Ate at w pho restaurant and based on my waitress' facial reaction I'm not sure if I asked for a fork or killed her entire family
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@ChrisHallbeck: How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.
@Brampersandon_: STUDENT: Will there be a final? PROFESSOR: Does a bear shit in the woods? BEAR STUDENT: *from the back row* Thats none of your damn business
@Tommytoughstuff: IMPROV PERFORMER: I need a suggestion. PERSON (from the back) BE MORE LIKE YOUR BROTHER! IP: Okay, someone that's not my wife.
@Iffy_hazard: Have been an Arsenal fan for barely an hour and I'm already frustrated,how have they been coping for the past decade?😭