@Tw1tter_K1tten: Ate Frosted Mini Wheats this morning, pooped a mini patio set this evening.
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@Stexcy: Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
@BuckyIsotope: WISE MAN #1: I brought gold for the babe WISE MAN #2: frankincense WISE MAN #3: myrrh ME: *pulls out Chili’s gift card* I hate you guys
@DillDoes: *secret agent slaps me* I'll never give you answers *he grabs my throat* "WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA" *spits* I'd rather die
@stevevsninjas: Octopus: *holding 8 guns* Looks like we got a Mexican standoff Squid: *holding 8 guns* Not so fast *draws 2 more guns*