@KevinFarzad: Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. I ate a pizza.
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@Robert_Beau: My family tree is a cactus, we're all pricks.
@thepunningman: "As CEO of Tortoise Enterprises, this merger with Slug Corp is... Linda, where is everyone?" "They all called to say they're running late"
@SteveKoehler22: Nike is coming out with a line of Air Brady football shoes. They have a built in suspension feature. You just have to let some air out.
@DamienFahey: I've never seen a workplace Hanukkah display that didn't shout, "We legally had to do this."
@dumbbeezie: I do the same thing every other woman my age does in the shower. Argue with people in my head.
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