@VaguelyFunnyDan: Ate shrooms & I feel nothing. Just an awful taste in my mouth. Also the dealer overcharged me. Also he's a centaur with spiders for lips
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@Dutch_50: Ask someone how they're doing & they'll say fine. Share with them a random health issue & wait for the 20 min dissertation on their ailment.
@MelKassel: *pulling up to toll both with megaphone in hand* Booth operator: ma'am please not again Me: someBODY once tolled me—
@foxxy311: Ladies, don't waste your time picking up guys at Chuck E Cheese. Apparently they have a "family" & a "wife" & I'm "ruining their dinner."