@NolaChef504: ATMs should have breathalyzers
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@DamienFahey: Just used the holiday card with your kid's face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room.
@david8hughes: "Marines!" "SIR, YES SIR!" "Get ready to deploy at 05:00 sharp--HUGHES WHERE IN THE SHIT ARE YOU GOING!?" "That's too early I quit."
@missteenussr: Never feel like you're too small to make a difference. After all, a tiny raisin has the ability to RUIN EVERYTHING ITS BAKED IN.