@NolaChef504: ATMs should have breathalyzers
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@AimeeHelene1: Geez, I'm so sorry...I'm not normally ticklish. (me to the nail lady I just kicked in the face during my pedicure)
@juliussharpe: I just saw an ad for a bulletproof briefcase. The real question is: why does your briefcase have so many enemies?
@GinAndJif: My boyfriend is tall, strong, protective and flashes me regularly. Oh no wait. I'm thinking of a lighthouse again.