@AngstromHoot: Attenborough has no respect for crabs. Always gives them ridiculous music. They are jesters to him
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@i_love_fudge: My therapist told me to write letters to the people I hate & then burn them. I wonder what I should do with the letters.
@brendohare: By the end of their life, everyone will have appeared in at least two Fast & Furious movies
@RobertManchild: [company meeting] Manager: $5000 in office supplies have gone missing. We are making some changes. Me: [in paper clip chainmail, sweating]
@AndyAsAdjective: Truth or dare? -Truth. Ok, go. -I get sexually aroused by ALF. Okaaaay... -Your turn. Truth or dare? Um...dare. -Put on this ALF costume.