@TheTweetOfGod: Attention crazy man on the subway: this is God. Please start telling everyone else in the car what I'm saying to you.
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@Brampersandon_: We have great news. We're pregnant! -Awesome! Do u know the sex yet? Of course we know 'the sex'. How do u think we got pregnant, silly?
@BookishBunny: Pretty much the only time I WANT to hear about your ex is if she's standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I'm good.
@AmericanGent69: If my name was Simon I would always talk in the third person when telling someone to do something.