@TheTweetOfGod: Attention crazy man on the subway: this is God. Please start telling everyone else in the car what I'm saying to you.
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@TheBoydP: The book I bought on dog training doesn't seem to be working. I don't think she's even reading it.
@charstarlene: Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your 'Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am.
@pleatedjeans: Forget a beach bod I want a bat's bod give me giant fangs and the long, leathery wings I need to rule the night