@imteddybless: ATTENTION MEN: STOP BUYING YOUR GIRLFRIEND FLOWERS AND PERFUME FOR VALENTINE’S DAY AND GET HER WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS. A SWORD
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@connorhannigan4: high school is like a free trial on education and once you’ve graduated they say “now if you want to continue pay $100,000”
@ChrisThayerSays: I'm still drunk with power after a Jehovah's Witness asked, "'Can I ask you one question?" & I said, "I think you just did," + kept walking.
@KevinFarzad: It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I'm trying to do that & you're lowering my chances.
@tarashoe: love how during intense moments in space-themed movies they'll show the dashboard panels, as though you'll be like ah. ah i see the issue