@warbird622: Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on Twitter right now.....
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@CroweJam: There's a bald spot in my yard so I'm gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
@Swishergirl24: Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about idiot teenagers who don't know the difference between sleeping and dead
@kelkulus: I don't understand why people get embarrassed buying condoms. It's much more awkward trying to return them. "She didn't like me."