@warbird622: Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on Twitter right now.....
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@lilgapeach30: 8 *walks into the house with covered in mud* Me: MY LORD 8: well that's a nice way to greet me but no, just your son.
@dumbbeezie: My doctor is always whispering to me something about not sticking Q tips in my ears. I need a louder doctor
@tpurvis06: Just watched a dog chase its tail for 10 min., thought "damn so easily entertained" then realized I watched a dog chase his tail for 10 min.