@NoTheOtherJohn: ATTORNEY: Ladies and gentlemen, how could my client have committed murder WHEN IT'S AGAINST THE LAW [whispering throughout courtroom]
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TweetPotato314: Waiter: and would you like mayonnaise on that? Wife: Ew, gross. Me: Why are you making your sex noises at him?
@PJTLynch: Sure, I could live a pious life so St. Peter lets me through the Pearly Gates. Or I could just crawl under the gate since IT SITS ON A CLOUD
@murrman5: [in a meeting] ok a Dracula movie except he's new in town and biting is illegal but he befriends the pastors daught- "that's just Footloose"