@NoTheOtherJohn: ATTORNEY: Ladies and gentlemen, how could my client have committed murder WHEN IT'S AGAINST THE LAW [whispering throughout courtroom]
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@Freudianscript: *Maybe try dressing up as SpongeBob this Halloween, since you're so self absorbed.* -Me as a therapist
@mattZillaaaa: *lays in bed for 12 hours I guess I'll get up now *walks over to couch & lays down
@canadasandra: Wanna know what it's like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.
@kelkulus: I can't tell if Michael Cera is actually an actor, or just an awkward guy who keeps wandering onto film sets and does his best to fit in.