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@Ristolable: ATTRACTIVE WOMAN: What time is it?
ME: Haha. Yeah definitely
@ddsmidt: Tried to pull up my sleeve and accidentally punched myself.
It's okay, I've had it coming for some time now.
@BritXNic: I had some food stuck in my teeth and now I'm an international beatboxing champion.
@E_lok44: Coyotes are dangerous, stay away.
If you keep this in mind, you will lessen your chances of being hit by an anvil.
@PieChord: A wife is like a hand grenade.
Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
@iAmDelFreaky: I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn't even lift him. We high-fived & laughed.