@jus4golf: Attractive women post selfies and refer to themselves as ugly. As a group, if we begin agreeing with them we could stop that shit quick.
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@J0hnnyBlaze: 10:00pm *gets a snack* 10:01pm *turns on tv* 10:02pm *glances at twitter for 8 seconds* February
@Be___Dope: [text] Her: I picked up buffalo wings. Me: * moves furniture around * rolls out plastic sheeting
@Bandersnaaatch: Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
@ThaJawn: *breathes on window creating condensation *starts to write in condensation *sneezes *head slams into window and breaks it