@sophiebrahams: #auspol #itson #qanda #art
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@AndyAsAdjective: Saw a guy riding a unicycle today. Actually, he was riding a bicycle but I didn't see him & I hit him with my car. Then boom! Unicycle.
@QwertyJones3: [vacuuming] Pick up your feet please. Kid on sofa: No! Ok *sucks kid into vacuum feet first* *turns to next kid* Pick up your feet please.
@JasonLastname: They say 9 or 10 is a good age to tell your kid they were adopted, but only IF they were adopted.