@Cidisn: Auto mechanic: Well here's your problem. The last person to work on this didn't wash their hands after using the restroom.
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@lecalabara: Humans are so stupid! This is why aliens probe us. They think our brains are up our butts.
@SteveDutzy: FUN PRANK: Bump into Kanye in public, pretend you don't recognize him, and say "EXCUSE ME ORDINARY CITIZEN" Then watch how mad he gets.
@KoKeniSasquatch: Dear Grocery store clerk, What part of me searching madly and paying in nickels & dimes suggests I can donate a dollar to the food bank?