@Cidisn: Auto mechanic: Well here's your problem. The last person to work on this didn't wash their hands after using the restroom.
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@AndyAsAdjective: "how'd your football team football today?" those footballers footballed quite well…really good footballin'
@mikefossey: Guy: I'll pay for my coffee and the guy behind me Me: hi thanks can I get a large coffee with 85 espresso shots
@simoncholland: You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.