@SuperRandomish: Autocorrect changed "baby rattle" to "baby battle" and now I'm googling where to buy tiny weapons.
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@cajones113: I'm in a very dark place right now. Suggestions on getting these motion sensing lights in the public bathroom to come back on...?
@jwoodham: All of my passwords are the names of various "Friends" characters. Except for Ross. I've never used Ross. Not after what he did to Rachel.
@LuvPug: My son asked me the definition of impending doom. I just said, 'you know when you smell dog poop in the house, but you can't see it? That.'
@david8hughes: [job int] "& what are your strengths." Me: lions "Lions?" Me: I'll take [lion walks by the office] I- [quietly] I'll take on any lion