@SuperRandomish: Autocorrect changed "baby rattle" to "baby battle" and now I'm googling where to buy tiny weapons.
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@ericsshadow: Trump's rhetoric has become even more disturbing and incendiary. Today he claimed "Burger King fries are as good as McDonald's fries."
@tequilasaltlife: I'm a good driver until there is a cop behind me Then I become a paranoid weed transporter from the border
@JoshuaHvr: Boss: "Are you texting?" Me: "No, I'm Tweeting." Boss: "What's the difference?" Me: "Texting would imply that I have friends."
@literalporn: WHITE PEOPLE COLONIZED AND ENSLAVED THE WORLD IN SEARCH OF SPICES AND DIDN'T USE A DAMN ONE