@myonlymizztake: Autocorrect changed fries to friend and I think I've offered to eat my friend. I'm not sure if I should clarify, or see where it goes.
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@TravLeBlanc: Why is it so hard to find a woman who loves me for me and not the person I lied and manipulated her into thinking I am?
@Rlpihl: First guy to invent a bread bowl was like "I'm gonna rip the top of this muffin & pour soup in it"
@ChaseLori: Only people who've walked into a sliding glass door can laugh when a bird crashes into a window. Everyone else who does it is a racist.