@myonlymizztake: Autocorrect changed fries to friend and I think I've offered to eat my friend. I'm not sure if I should clarify, or see where it goes.
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@darth__mouth: hey teens ! if you think you're angry now, just wait until you have to spend your own money on toilet paper.
@TheMichaelRock: Nice try, Team USA. Not bad for a country that only cares about soccer for two weeks every other year!
@TheTweetOfGod: An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But a tooth is worth half an eye, so an eye for two teeth also works, if you're out of eyes.
@LOUD_Thoughts_: When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.