@AsgardianRose: Autocorrect changed "panic attack" to "pancake attack" and now I'm hysterical AND hungry.
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@batkaren: Deep in the black void where my heart once beat, there lies a small, glowing ember-- oh wait no that's a Cheeto.
@ArfMeasures: Breath escapes my broken body. I collapse amid dark, icy spears of pain. The fight's done. It's over. GYM INSTRUCTOR: You've done 9 seconds
@Home_Halfway: Congrats on your new baby. I remember a night where you drank a fifth of Jim Beam and crapped yourself. Glad you're raising a child now.