@AsgardianRose: Autocorrect changed "panic attack" to "pancake attack" and now I'm hysterical AND hungry.
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@KentWGraham: I’m starting to think my wife is only having sex with me to improve her FitBit stats.
@Shock_Monster: It's been clinically proven that the most effective form of birth control I can use is: "Just be myself."
@krisv_723: Wow, you've got a lot of hickeys Kris. Me: Busy weekend *winks *remembers wrestling that octopus at the aquarium for giving me side eye.