@LoneWolfStories: Autocorrect changed smell to spell but you know what? Your spelling is horrible too.
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@QwertyJones3: [dog park] Go get it, boy! *dog returns with silver watch, silver bracelet & silver necklace* Ugh, you're the worst golden retriever ever
@humanwarnings: The next time I hang out with people who start making out in front of me, I'm going to start flossing my teeth in front of them.
@peachesanscream: You've seen nothing until you've seen a picture of a pigeon having a job interview to become a pigeon: