@moose_chocolate: Autocorrect changed "you're so wise" to "you're so wide", and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home.
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@thenatewolf: The lights are dimmed. Sexy music plays. She runs her fingers across my scar. "I got that when I fell off the toilet," I whisper.
@rainbowrowell: These protests are PLANNED. These opposition groups are ORGANIZED. My enemies are USING CALENDARS. Someone signed up to BRING DOUGHNUTS.