@SpacePlankton: Autocorrect doesn't recognize my gangsta nature.
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@CheetoBandito77: *turns on shower* *gets undressed* *checks TL real quick* *floods the entire neighborhood*
@SortaBad: Priest: Do you take this woman to be your wife? Me: "I do" Priest: Ok can you say it again without using finger quotes while you do it
@Ivsy01: Keep it mysterious, ladies... Him: See you next time. Me: Maybe. Him: Do you want your receipt?