@JohnLyonTweets: Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I'm starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
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@TheCatWhisprer: [cats at shelter] Where's Frank? "Got adopted 3 weeks ago. Gone soft too. Healthcare plan. Hypoallergenic blanket. Goes by Mr. Boots now."
@Freudstombstone: It hurts my feelings when people call me a failure. I'd rather people think of me as successfully challenged.
@SalmaElWardany1: Watching Grey's Anatomy teaches me that if I'm really sad, I should walk slowly down a corridor to a Snow Patrol track.