@UncleDuke1969: Autocorrect is why I have crust issues.
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@causticbob: Breaking News. Apple is to buy Ireland to solve the debt problem. It will be rebranded iLand
@BlindChow: Cop: Freeze! Suspect: Try and catch me! *dives into Olive Garden's bottomless pasta bowl* Rookie: We gotta go after him! Cop: No. He's gone.
@caperbc75: Hulk Hogan walks into a tanning salon and drops a saddle on the counter. "Make me look like this brother!"