@LionJenkins: Autocorrect just changed "Selfies" to "Selfless" so I just took a picture without me in it.
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@AnOrangeSNES: Apparently just because I have the "mind of a child" I'm not allowed to sit on a Santa's lap. Also it's "illegal" to carry a brain around.
@weinerdog4life: No, your baby was definitely crying before I dropped it, that's why I dropped it.
@AimeeHelene1: *hears someone breaking in* *grabs gun and walks down hallway* *cord drags* *realizes I grabbed Nintendo gun from Duck Hunt* *gets shot*