@GuyThe_Guy: Autocorrect just turned "stepdaughter" into "lying manipulative drug addict that lives in the basement and brings dudes in thru the slider"
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@wolfpupy: if you are getting the names Jon and John confused call them by their full names, Jonaldo and Johnaldo
@MrsGoose69: Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. u were suppose 2 make me funnier, smarter & put me in a good mood.... I saw the photos - we need to talk.
@LionJenkins: Me: Doctor, it hurts when I go like this. Doctor: You're not doing anything. You're just sitting there being alive. Me: Exactly.
@bossy_boots99: I get my eyes from my Dad & the ability to find something wrong with almost anything from my Mom