@rachelle_mandik: Autocorrect turned your lynch mob into a lunch mob? Maybe if you ate something you wouldn't be so angry.
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@Tmoney68: [Sloth Job Interview] Sloth Boss: How would you describe yourself? *2 hours later* Sloth Interviewee: Quick-thinking.
@EndhooS: [Back at her place] Date: talk dirty to me Me: uhh...dust is basically just flakes of dead skin Date: Eww, wtf? Me: I mean... uh, limescale can shorten the life your kettle