@rachelle_mandik: Autocorrect turned your lynch mob into a lunch mob? Maybe if you ate something you wouldn't be so angry.
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@electrolemon: i'm so sorry sir, but we here at chase bank don't accept gun-for-money exchanges. and we need an amount, not just "all the money you got"
@relatabledad: every morning i swallow a piece of paper that says "keep up the good work fellas!!" just in case i die and doctors gotta do an autopsy on me