@rachelle_mandik: Autocorrect turned your lynch mob into a lunch mob? Maybe if you ate something you wouldn't be so angry.
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@Dani_Feld: What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich? What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth?
@AndyAsAdjective: Wife: How many beers is that for you today, dear? Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.
@GetCougarized: I'm not only the woman your Mother warned you about, I'm the one your Father highly recommended.
@shwebby2: Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product